A Surprise for America

 
I have a surprise for you.
 
I had planned to tell you more about the amputation of San Francisco today, but some of my closest friends have asked me to declare my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America.
 
That is not the surprise.  I frequently run for office and even Elmer Fudd gets more votes than I; but between now and Election Day many changes will take place, and I could very well be the frontrunner.
 
Of course, in the context of current politics, me with fewer constitutional rights than a laboratory animal; all American political parties in agreement that I should be America's torture-slave; the American news media in solid agreement to exclude me from American society; cowardly American men and silly American women torturing me wherever I go, my finishing better than tenth in a three-candidate race would seem unlikely.
 
However, the surprise is that God is going to cut the Gordian Knot of this situation.  God is going to begin to skin the media weasels alive, and that will change the nature of the game.
 
I think you will see this weasel-skinning in the news, famous media weasel faces and famous media weasel names disappearing into the depths of Hell.  As this happens, and if I can get to my computer, I will tell you why each media weasel has been skinned.
 
The media weasels who are about to be skinned alive have not cared that thousands of Americans have died because the society of media weasels have locked me and my news out of the market, so don't worry too much about these weasels as they swan dive into the fires of Hell.
 
At a certain point, stinging from God's harsh corrections, the American news media will end its lying to you about me; and, Dear Reader, saying nothing about me is a lie, as is talking to you about me behind my back.
 
At that point my candidacy will become valid; and at that time the remaining media weasels will report that the central theme of my candidacy is this that Earth is rapidly dying and it is on that profound crisis the wealth and intelligence of the human race should be focused.
 
Now let's look at the context of my day.   It has been a pretty good day, I have been struck by only two Americans, two silly women and no cowardly men.  To be struck only twice in one day is very rare.
 
Is this a trend, or is this an anomaly?
 
Tomorrow I will pack up my computer and leave this motel in search of a home where I can live and work in peace and freedom, harder to find than an American journalist who will report honestly and openly about me.