The $511 Billion Defeat
Jews Jaws Six Down
Shark America Four Up
Number of Earthquakes in the Past Seven Days: 154
Virgil Kret's Cell Phone Number: (530) 276-4923
Expect a Disastrous Earthquake on December 26, 2008
George W. Bush Will Destroy the World
Looking for the Peru-Chile God Event
Today: Tactics of the Smallville Battle: Take Them Down Memory Lane
Today's code is "34th Day, Last Year".
Well, I suppose there's little chance psycho-fascist America will surrender its alleged right to torture and enslave me before Penetration Day, next Thursday, Chinese New Year for the Year of the Rat, so let's tell a yarn or two in the interim.
As I understand it from my astute analysis of American behavior there is a large sporting event of some sort--basket-foot I think--scheduled for today.
This sporting event is called the "Supper Bowl", and apparently it is much like Thanksgiving Day in that Americans gorge themselves on food--not turkey as on Thanksgiving, but pigskins--and lay about on couches, stomachs extended, drunk on a concoction they call "beer" but which we Space Sailors know to be swill, watching basket-foot on television.
Apparently, even Jewish people take part in this ritual feast despite their food laws relative to the eating of pork.
I dutifully send this information back to my Home Stars, where such human curiosities find a broad readership.
My daily reports there, like my daily reports here, are collectively called The Obituary of the World; and because of the light-years' distances involved, the tail end of my reports will arrive after the human race has gone extinct; news of which will be much to the relief of my extraterrestrial readership.
After The Extinction, as it is generally called, my reports will focus on the Great Attempt, as it is generally called, to save this Earth from death.
Unfortunately, our findings show this Earth cannot be saved as long as one human parasite remains to damage her, but that's another story.
Understand, since before we Space Sailors were asked to sail here by God some 57,000,000 years ago the theme of God's Request was always Save the Planet, Save the Planet, Save the Planet; and nowhere was there a request, Save the Human Being.
Vanity, vanity, to the human being all God's work is supportive of human vanity, as if the human being's ass were the center of the Universe.
There is an old story about me within this Space Sailor story, it is called "The Space Sailor With the Shortest Straw".
The story goes back to our fleet's first visit here some 57,000,000 years ago; when after having looked over the situation; after having examined the crisis from orbit between Earth and her Moon; after having learned Earth's death would come relatively soon; we still did not know the cause of her impending death, and therefore did not know how to approach the cure.
With that knowledge of our lack of knowledge there came a pause among us, a collective taking of breath; because no Space Sailor wanted to do what it was clearly necessary to do...yes, I speak here of the dread of all Space Sailors, marooning, marooning, marooning on a strange land, and clearly some of us had to be marooned.
So, we drew straws--not actual straws but the concept is the same--and I was one of those who drew a short straw.
Our duty, of course, the duty of the marooned, was to remain on Earth until we found the cause of her approaching death--her death in only 57,000,000 years--and found the key to preventing that death.
So we few marooned Space Sailors stayed behind in the wilderness which was this Earth while our fleet sailed home to wives and kiddies...out of love, Dear Reader, we marooned ourselves here out of love; but don't stick out your chest and swell your head, out of love for God and knowledge of God's love for this Earth.
For this Earth...for this Earth...for this Earth, love for this Earth, not love for the human being.
Though it may pain you, understand that distinction, for in that distinction lies the truth of your doom, or of avoiding your doom.
Ooops! The Supper Bowel is about to start, and I have my pigskins and beer. First things first. Will our hired athletes defeat their hired athletes? That is the question which by far outranks the question, will this Earth beat death?
Meanwhile, back in the USA, the United States of America, unaware of God's furious anger at it, finished the 34th day of its last year; and the last Supper Bowl game was played.
Shark America Four Up
Number of Earthquakes in the Past Seven Days: 154
Virgil Kret's Cell Phone Number: (530) 276-4923
Expect a Disastrous Earthquake on December 26, 2008
George W. Bush Will Destroy the World
Looking for the Peru-Chile God Event
Today: Tactics of the Smallville Battle: Take Them Down Memory Lane
Today's code is "34th Day, Last Year".
Well, I suppose there's little chance psycho-fascist America will surrender its alleged right to torture and enslave me before Penetration Day, next Thursday, Chinese New Year for the Year of the Rat, so let's tell a yarn or two in the interim.
As I understand it from my astute analysis of American behavior there is a large sporting event of some sort--basket-foot I think--scheduled for today.
This sporting event is called the "Supper Bowl", and apparently it is much like Thanksgiving Day in that Americans gorge themselves on food--not turkey as on Thanksgiving, but pigskins--and lay about on couches, stomachs extended, drunk on a concoction they call "beer" but which we Space Sailors know to be swill, watching basket-foot on television.
Apparently, even Jewish people take part in this ritual feast despite their food laws relative to the eating of pork.
I dutifully send this information back to my Home Stars, where such human curiosities find a broad readership.
My daily reports there, like my daily reports here, are collectively called The Obituary of the World; and because of the light-years' distances involved, the tail end of my reports will arrive after the human race has gone extinct; news of which will be much to the relief of my extraterrestrial readership.
After The Extinction, as it is generally called, my reports will focus on the Great Attempt, as it is generally called, to save this Earth from death.
Unfortunately, our findings show this Earth cannot be saved as long as one human parasite remains to damage her, but that's another story.
Understand, since before we Space Sailors were asked to sail here by God some 57,000,000 years ago the theme of God's Request was always Save the Planet, Save the Planet, Save the Planet; and nowhere was there a request, Save the Human Being.
Vanity, vanity, to the human being all God's work is supportive of human vanity, as if the human being's ass were the center of the Universe.
There is an old story about me within this Space Sailor story, it is called "The Space Sailor With the Shortest Straw".
The story goes back to our fleet's first visit here some 57,000,000 years ago; when after having looked over the situation; after having examined the crisis from orbit between Earth and her Moon; after having learned Earth's death would come relatively soon; we still did not know the cause of her impending death, and therefore did not know how to approach the cure.
With that knowledge of our lack of knowledge there came a pause among us, a collective taking of breath; because no Space Sailor wanted to do what it was clearly necessary to do...yes, I speak here of the dread of all Space Sailors, marooning, marooning, marooning on a strange land, and clearly some of us had to be marooned.
So, we drew straws--not actual straws but the concept is the same--and I was one of those who drew a short straw.
Our duty, of course, the duty of the marooned, was to remain on Earth until we found the cause of her approaching death--her death in only 57,000,000 years--and found the key to preventing that death.
So we few marooned Space Sailors stayed behind in the wilderness which was this Earth while our fleet sailed home to wives and kiddies...out of love, Dear Reader, we marooned ourselves here out of love; but don't stick out your chest and swell your head, out of love for God and knowledge of God's love for this Earth.
For this Earth...for this Earth...for this Earth, love for this Earth, not love for the human being.
Though it may pain you, understand that distinction, for in that distinction lies the truth of your doom, or of avoiding your doom.
Ooops! The Supper Bowel is about to start, and I have my pigskins and beer. First things first. Will our hired athletes defeat their hired athletes? That is the question which by far outranks the question, will this Earth beat death?
Meanwhile, back in the USA, the United States of America, unaware of God's furious anger at it, finished the 34th day of its last year; and the last Supper Bowl game was played.
posted by Virgil Kret at 8:40 AM
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